My therapy work with mothers has led me to ponder the conflicted and sometimes elusive relationship these clients have with maternal wisdom. Something that should be so innate and accessible as our maternal wisdom is often discounted or buried under the unconscious baggage we bring into motherhood. Perhaps it’s pressure from social/cultural norms or the myths of motherhood that cause women to search through books and the Web for answers instead of tapping into their own innate knowing. For most, sleep deprivation, hormones and new stresses contribute to the fear, self-doubt and then disconnect from that wisdom.
But what also needs to be acknowledged are the often unconscious stories we tell ourselves about motherhood, based on life experiences, family history, perceptions and beliefs about ourselves. Don’t believe everything you think. If unresolved issues and dysfunctional patterns of thinking are contributing to the disconnect from maternal wisdom, examining and working through those patterns are a big part of the reconnect solution. And, while accessing that innate wisdom, we receive the added benefits of decreased stress, compassion for ourselves and connection with our families.
So, what stories have you been telling yourself that disconnect you from your innate wisdom? Are those stories based on perceptions, irrational thoughts or something that is no longer true for you? Can working through and letting go of those stories make room for new stories that serve you better?
Gina Borelli Moore, MFT